it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize