I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
