do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
