i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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