Plan B is the new Plan A
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
So vagazzling was a success
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize