I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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