my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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