he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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