I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
