I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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