So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
