her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
