Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
My apartment stinks of burning failure
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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