new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
