i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
