Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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