a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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