seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
