hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
