Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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