That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize