you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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