So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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