You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
