I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Randomize
