it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
