Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
