: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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