i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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