you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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