the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
