I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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