my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
