i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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