it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
