it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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