Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
