To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
