discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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