Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
