Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
