We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
