he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
