I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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