I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
