was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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