Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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