The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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