but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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