Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
well, you know. whores of a feather.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
