3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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