Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Swine flu is the new snow day.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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