I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
