"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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