some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
