Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
