The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
