As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
