my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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