Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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