I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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