this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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