so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Randomize
