Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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