fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
