do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Randomize
