was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Bring me that man meat
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
